Behind the curtain

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True Tales Of The Illuminati review

Rating –

In the last few years, mainly since we were all locked down, people found themselves with a lot of time on their hands. Some learned new skills, some started their dream business and found themselves stress free. Others started doing “research” and discovered that the world is not as we’ve been told.

According to various basement dwelling paranoiac energy drink addicts, the world is being run by a shadowy group known as The Illuminati. This all powerful group has the ability to control global government, start wars and runs all the world’s media. Despite doing this, they are unable to make said “researchers” disappear without a trace, thus keeping their nefarious deeds secret.

So what’s it about?

This is a wry comedy tracing the history of the Illuminati, from its beginnings in ancient Egypt through to the modern day.

It follows the adventures of Ishmael, Jackie, Beck and Dal as they build occult libraries in pyramids, plot against Henry VIII, fake moon landings and buy nuclear weapons. You know, all that stuff that changes the course of history.

It’s unclear in the story whether this foursome are really immortal, or if it’s like Blackadder, where there are different members of the same bloodline doing the same things. Not that it really matters, but I didn’t think about that for a while.

Is it any good?

There were more cons than pros when I started this unfortunately. There are many good, funny, podcasts out there, some of which I absolutely love. This is not one of them though. I had made up my mind by the end of the first episode, but I ploughed on through the whole lot, just in case.

The theme song is a vaudevillian piano “chase” style song that lays the groundwork for the zany style comedy. Unfortunately, this tune is the best part of the show. The characters are irritating, especially Dal, who you get the impression is constantly peering out from a hooded cloak and who chews the scenery with gusto. The storylines are inane and yes, I understand that this is the point, but it got on my nerves almost instantly.

I would place this more in the realm of series 2 of Fear, you may remember it as the curveball story entitled “Black Friday”, rather than other mystery based comedies such as Wormwood or

Like a ten year old at a birthday party, this podcast is hyperactive and thinks it’s funnier than it actually is. Like said hyperactive ten year old, it also doesn’t seem to know what to do next and runs around without any real purpose.

Final thoughts

On paper, this should have been my ideal podcast. As I have mentioned in other podcasts though, simply having the ingredients right doesn’t guarantee a good cuppa. After the first episode I realised that I probably wouldn’t like it, and as they ticked on, my fears were proved right. In the interest of fairness though (established by me in my housekeeping post), I have listened to all ten episodes. In fact, seeing as there were only twelve, I listened to the whole thing. See what I do for you lot?

You might like this, if you do then feel free to call me an idiot/grump/philistine and enjoy the series for what it is. A very silly, rather base comedy.

You can get True Tales Of The Illuminati here:


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